Fifteen

Issue date: 12/5/06 Section: Comedy

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Best business school classrooms



Since we have received such accolades from our fellow classmates in our Best Business School Bathrooms article from the last issue of Fifteen, we have decided to delve into yet another integral aspect of our business school learning environment … classrooms.

On average, MBA students spend about 20-25 total hours per week in their respective business school classrooms. During the past few weeks, we have compiled various pictures and tales from several top business schools' classrooms from around the US.



(1) Harvard Business School

The classrooms are of the same caliber and character as the students: over-priced and loud. When they host various CEO's and industry leaders, they want these executives to focus on the expensive furniture and not on the inaccuracy of students' comments.



(2) Stanford Graduate School of Business

"Our classrooms are spacious and are great for playing frisbee."

"Our classrooms smell like pot and ice cream. It's kinda cool… "



(3) Columbia Business School

The classrooms come equipped with bathrooms and showers since the majority of the students commute from Wall Street where they are not allowed to use the facilities more than twice each week. They have started to hire staff that have had CPR experience and/or Red Cross familiarity, since reviving students from traumatic Wall Street experiences has become the pastime.



Also, since they are located in Harlem, they must continually bolt the chairs and desks down to the floor, since theft is a significant problem. They punish students who steal furniture by making them take a course in Women's Studies across the street at Barnard.



(4) MIT Sloan School of Management

In order to make visitors feel welcome, sometimes we ask them to sit in chairs without seats attached. This way, they will not feel compelled to speak further than the time allotted, which may be a violation of Sloan Professional Standards. This "special" seat is also a reminder to students of what will happen if you forget to turn off your cell phone ringer.



Additionally, we have discovered that this is yet another way we increase depreciation and thus reduce our taxes payable.



FUNNY CLASS QUOTES



• In Business Law Class debating the limits of personal freedoms:



Professor: "Alcohol and tobacco are not free speech. Well, alcohol may encourage free speech."



• At a lecture hosted by a BCG VP entitled, The future of the Internet, Web 2.0:



Student: "I read an article about Web 3.0 in the Wall Street Journal this past week. What are your feelings on this subject?"

VP: "I'm not familiar with Web 3.0. What did the article say about this technology?"

Student: "Not sure. I didn't read it."



• Jim Koch, founder and Chairman of The Boston Beer Company, maker of Samuel Adams:



"Being CEO is like a mantle of shit."



• Exchange in Operations Strategy Class about employing cost-cutting strategies at Dell:



Professor: "What did we learn from the Dell case?"



Student: [Waving hand frantically to make his valuable contribution to the discussion] "That you can make much more profit by squeezing your suppliers!"



Professor: [Rolls eyes, takes a deep breath, and patiently responds] "Well, your suppliers can always tell you to shove it..."



• An email with subject line: "not as sketchy as it sounds…trust me," sent to the Sloan 07 Yahoo! Group on the 2nd of November:



"So i have this rebate i need to send in that cannot be postmarked past 10/30/06 - as it is clearly past that date I need to find a solution and I am sure that there is someone clever enough at the great MIT Sloan that can help me."



We trust you, buddy.





If you have experienced a ridiculous comment in class, during GLAB, or from around the Thanksgiving table, and feel that it would be a disservice not to enlighten the MIT Sloan community with its enjoyment, please email me at: hourdaj@sloan.mit.edu, and I will post the best ones.

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