Fifteen

Issue date: 12/5/06 Section: Student Life

While many are reacting to the imminent passing of the oceans with terror and grief, we wanted to celebrate the lives of these bodies of water by reminiscing about the good times. Thus, we bring you the unofficial Ocean Obituaries.



ATLANTIC OCEAN



The Atlantic Ocean died a slow and tragic death this December. Born in August, the Atlantic Ocean was comprised of 63 unique and rambunctious first year Sloanies. Cause of death is unconfirmed at this time but there will be an ongoing investigation conducted over the next 18 months, mostly occurring at the BHP.

The Atlantic Ocean karate chopped its way through its short but fruitful life. It was marked in its early days by the soggy Warren Center and the comfy chairs in the warm Tang Auditorium. Along the way, the Atlantic Ocean discovered flip cup and word games. It learned the importance of asking questions such as, "Who's your daddy?" and understanding how "techmology" will affect us in the future. With this, the Atlantic Ocean flourished into its adolescent years. In its later years, the Atlantic Ocean was marked by many head bobs, multiple "bathroom" breaks during the middle of class, and empty seats.

Although the cause of death is unconfirmed, initial investigations point to a certain moment in Economics class when a Rhett Butler wanna-be attacked Eric Van den Steen with the deadly phrase, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." Eric was caught by surprise and that may have been the final blow to the Atlantic Ocean.

Though the Atlantic Ocean is no longer with us, it will be remembered fondly for its ability to stop, collaborate, and listen. The Atlantic Ocean was a friendly bunch and will be missed dearly. Its last words spoken were in tribute to Gus De Franco: "I'm invisible". And then the Atlantic Ocean disappeared.

The Atlantic Ocean will live on in spirit and family members would appreciate if you would drink a beer in memory at the BHP.



BALTIC OCEAN



The Baltic Ocean (BO for short), well-known for its volume and penchant to "rise above the rest", died on December 19 in Cambridge. It survived a semester-long 8:30AM accounting class only to die from an identity crisis - in fact, it was never settled whether it was a sea or an ocean.

Born from humble beginnings, the BO consisted of 63 talented and extremely good-looking individuals. Their accomplishments were absurdly diverse: engineers that fought fires, runway show photographers, and mountaineers that climbed K2 (with a tiny bit of help by helicopter). There was even a medical doctor, in case of emergency. They arrived from all across the globe to learn, to grow, and, of course, to karaoke (who could forget Victor Coker '08's wicked rendition of Beyonce's Crazy in Love?).

Continued...

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