The Funnies
KIRK HOURDAJIAN '07
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THE BEST SLOAN TREKS
This past Spring Break period was an excellent way for Sloan MBAs to add value to countless world citizens who can benefit from our superior knowledge of world markets, international customs, and Powerpoint.
Alright, fine - being an MBA student is just an elaborate and outrageous excuse for visiting far away places, and delaying the inevitable ‘cubicle blues.’ Unleashing hundreds of Sloanies around the world this past week has been quite traumatic: 15 of us just arrived home after drinking too many cocktails and swimming in the wrong body of water – a little too close to Iran.
But after hearing about all the fantastic treks, here is a summary of some of the best and the worst treks from Spring 07, and some possible future treks we should consider:
PT Iraq:
Who needs to learn English and business acumen more than the Iraqis? By establishing a Sloan outpost in Fallujah, Ken Morse can finally teach some entrepreneurship to students who will listen to him.
Nepal/Tibet/India Trek:
How many different shades can my stool come in over a two week period?
Kazakhstan Trek:
Visit the world’s leading exporter of pubis, calcium, and micro-thin man-thongs. Just think about the amount of social work which could be done to liberate women from their cages…
Japan Trek:
Karaoke bars and geisha parties are great ways to learn about the business culture in Japan. Just observe all the wasted Japanese businessmen on their way home from the bars at 1AM on a Monday night, hand-in-hand with girls in school uniforms.
Armenia Trek [planned for 08]:
Sure, it would be great to bring Sloanies to the land of my ancestors, but it would take time to convince everyone that we are NOT in Albania, that Borat is from Kazakhstan (not Armenia), and that not all Armenians are that hairy (just I am).
FUNNY CLASS QUOTES
Macroeconomics course, on identifying inflation:
“Hyperinflation can be identified as a growth rate of greater than 50% per month increase in prices; or can be defined through the Porn Rule: You know it when you see it”
New Enterprises course, speaking about the joys of owning a venture capital firm:
“VC is like sex: when it’s good, it’s good. When it’s bad, its still pretty good”
Technology Strategy class discussion about trade-offs between low price and high quality products:
Professor: "Name an industry in which consumers would sacrifice low prices for quality.”
Student: “Condoms”
Sloan Japan Trek company visit to DoCoMo- Japan’s top cellular technology firm. The below question was asked numerous times to a Senior VP, by one of our finest:
“Here at Sony, what are some of the other cellular technologies coming from your R&D?”
In Mergers and Acquisitions class, explaining the pains of transparency through M&A activity:
“Work in non-profit. You can shit on everyone.”
New Enterprises course lecture concerning the selection of a competent senior executive team:
Professor: “Selecting a senior executive team is like choosing players for a pick-up basketball game. Which types of players would you select?”
Student1: “Tall players.”
Student2: “Black players.”
As my time here is expiring as fast as Barry Bond’s testosterone supply, I must hand the baton of the Funnies to our next muse. If you are interested, send me a quick paragraph, or rant on a comedic topic relevant to Sloan, which you would like to share with your fellow classmates. And don’t forget, unlike the tough guys from the BHP email, this column is transparent.
Email me at: hourdaj@sloan.mit.edu, and I will pick the best.
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