Fifteen

Even amidst turbulence in the markets, I know many of you readers will be heading for the investment banking world for summer internships or full-time jobs. The majority of you will get the positions you desire, but five years of experience in the industry in Tokyo and London have taught me that while entry is difficult, survival is even more of a challenge.

I was working at a Swiss-American hybrid firm that was famous (or shall we say infamous) for handling the majority of technology equity offerings in the late 1990s and very early 2000s. I joined the industry in 2001 and survived my division’s downsizing from 115 to 15 employees. I thought I was the best in Asia. After promotion to Associate, I was transferred to London, and really thought I was a pimp then. It was pretty rare for someone from a far-out satellite office like Tokyo to get shipped over to a “main” office for a permanent position; needless to say the promotion, my bonus package and the acquisition of analysts under me expanded my ego beyond the physical capacity of my cranium.

This was, of course, until I heard of the story about a Sunil Singh (fake name to protect identity), a Director in our London office who had an exceptional story of climbing the corporate ladder. He did the normal three years as analyst, but was promoted to VP from associate in just a year and a half. The technology division of the firm was somewhat legendary and was used to exuberant excesses.

One example of this was an annual technology conference in Latin America where people rarely wore suits and the population was pretty tanned. Like all who survived, Sunil Singh was a hard-working banker; he was also a bachelor. Since his superiors were involved in a very lucrative, yet low probability (as usual) transaction, he was tasked with attending this conference. At that time, Sunil was covering semiconductor manufacturers, which were still in vogue and going through a possible consolidation process (bankers smell money). So he flew over for a three-day trip to wine and dine the world’s semiconductor CEOs and pitch the firm’s brand and capabilities.

Sunil was expected to return back to work on Monday with client contacts and reports on the various meetings he held in the Latin American nation. But he didn’t come to work on Monday… He didn’t bother to show up on Tuesday or Wednesday either. His superiors started to fret and the group head started wondering if Sunil had taken the contacts and information he had gathered at the conference to competitors. A tired Sunil finally rolled into work on Thursday afternoon.

The group head immediately called Sunil into his office. While Sunil was still formulating an excuse, his boss immediately began by saying: “Sunil, you are an invaluable asset to this firm. I understand that competitors have been making you ridiculous offers and that you have been tempted by them. We all are, but we really need you at this firm. You are an essential part of this organization and for that reason we are recommending you receive an early promotion to Vice President, effective immediately.” Sunil was shocked; it was mid-June---not the time for promotions. Furthermore, he hadn’t even chatted with headhunters or rival banks. Sure enough, the next day a firm-wide memo was sent marking his promotion in stone.

What actually happened? Sunil attended the weekend conference and met two beautiful Latin American ladies. After a number of mojitos, they all retired to Sunil’s swanky hotel. They remained in that hotel for 3 continuous days, ordering room service and doing a lot of different things you and I just can’t even imagine. In fact, he was scared sh!tless when he arrived at Heathrow nursing a deep hangover. “Would I even have a job when I get back to London”, he wondered, “how am I supposed to explain this?”

In fact, after all that fun, he got a promotion. Well-deserved? Maybe not… But less than two years later, he ended up getting promoted to Director. He definitely did have something going on, and was “invaluable” to the firm. He ended up retiring early at the age of 30 and gave the firm the excuse that he wanted to write a book about his experiences. Rumors have it that he got fired for his extreme cocaine addiction. So what’s the moral of the story? Ladies and gentleman, as my old boss said, “there is always worse”. You can either be the one making the stories, or be the one telling them (like me).

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