Fifteen

Issue date: 4/14/09 Section: Humor

Figure 1

Negotiator A

You sigh as you gaze at your reflection in the mirror. Having thrown all of your bid points for a coveted interview with the Digital Satellite System manufacturing group at Littlefield Technologies, you had almost given up hope. Luckily, at the last minute, the CDO offered you a spot off the waitlist. There's one small catch. Judging day for LFM's Mustache March will occur immediately after your interview.

Mustache March was invented by Henry Ford. According to Sloan lore, Henry Ford rolled into Boston with only his impressive set of side burns. Conceding to market pressures, his iconic facial asset was put to auction this past fall, constituting the highest bid item in the $6,480 raised by the Atlantic Ocean for the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. The Leaders for Manufacturing recognized this sacrifice with Mustache March, encouraging onlookers to contribute to the Red Sox Foundation.

You and you're facial fuzz are currently embroiled in a fierce rivalry for the "Most Disturbing" category. In playing up this rivalry, you have managed to secure several side bets amounting to $1,300 in donations if you claim a prize on Judgment Day. Speculators have capitalized on this arbitrage opportunity to offer your rival a similar stake and straddle options for more risk adverse onlookers.

But, you worry that your manscape may not be well-received by recruiters. In your research, you notice Littlefield's policy on creative expression rivals only that of Disney's. You add the several pending lawsuits of wrongful dismissal based on personal appearance to the file of questions you can't ask in the interview. You are sure that a clean shaven candidate would have a distinct advantage. However, you notice from the CDO sign-up website that the only other candidate under consideration is your rival for "Most Disturbing."

You reflexively look to DMD frameworks to make light of the complex situation. At the very least, it will help you prep for any case questions thrown at you. [Figure 1]
If no one shaves for the interview, you stand an equal chance of getting the job while collectively raising a substantial sum from side bets. If you both shave, you lose the donations. If he shaves and you do not, he is more likely to receive the job, leaving you with the consolation of having won the Most Disturbing category and raised money for the cause. Likewise, if you shave and he does not, the donations are secured through your rival's side bets and you also get an internship.

You tap the razor pensively on the sink basin. Do you shave or don't you? If you had the opportunity to coordinate with your rival, would your strategy change? What is your appetite for social risk?

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