The Height of Salacious Sophistication
Issue date: 5/12/09 Section: Ask Alfred
Fed up in Fenway
Dear Fed Up,
If you think the BHP gets boring after a couple of years, just imagine after several decades… I've seen so many illicit relationships started and reputations permanently tarnished that not even watching Rob McMahon single-handedly lift the bar out of the recession is funny anymore. And those "social commentary" e-mails, my heavens - if I ever have to read about the latest happenings in the life of Jordan Kogler or Akshay Nanduri again I am going to hurl Brubaker all over the bathroom floor at the BHP (not that you would actually notice any difference - when was the last time that floor saw a mop?).
As for your fears about how you are viewed by the Sloan clique, remember that while we might have our fair share of prep-schoolers and are preparing to elect a glorified version of the Prom King and Queen at the Follies, this is not an episode of Gossip Girls… yet. Unless you have the intention of taking advantage in BVI of some unsuspecting stranger that has taken one too many Vodka-Dramamines (hint: always anchor your boat properly before you try it), your networking in business-school is pretty much done at this point. That means that you no longer have to engage in pointless small talk and pretend you give a brass rat's ass about whether your conversation partner has found a full-time job or not.
Alfie 'livin' it large' Sloan
3. Dear Alfred,
I was looking forward to graduation and the Follies when I got the news I was nominated for an unprecedented four awards. I was well psyched about being so popular among my underlings until I heard what categories they fall under. I've received nominations for the 'I'm going to impress my professor with completely long-winded and irrelevant comments', Mr Punctuality, the Statue of Liberty and Sloshed Sloanie awards. How do I refuse them without looking like a petty, humorless spoilsport?
Gormless Graduate
Dear Gormless,
Indeed, you are the true epitome of the MBA student: Pretentious, self-serving, pompous, and entirely lacking in reticence.
Dear Fed Up,
If you think the BHP gets boring after a couple of years, just imagine after several decades… I've seen so many illicit relationships started and reputations permanently tarnished that not even watching Rob McMahon single-handedly lift the bar out of the recession is funny anymore. And those "social commentary" e-mails, my heavens - if I ever have to read about the latest happenings in the life of Jordan Kogler or Akshay Nanduri again I am going to hurl Brubaker all over the bathroom floor at the BHP (not that you would actually notice any difference - when was the last time that floor saw a mop?).
As for your fears about how you are viewed by the Sloan clique, remember that while we might have our fair share of prep-schoolers and are preparing to elect a glorified version of the Prom King and Queen at the Follies, this is not an episode of Gossip Girls… yet. Unless you have the intention of taking advantage in BVI of some unsuspecting stranger that has taken one too many Vodka-Dramamines (hint: always anchor your boat properly before you try it), your networking in business-school is pretty much done at this point. That means that you no longer have to engage in pointless small talk and pretend you give a brass rat's ass about whether your conversation partner has found a full-time job or not.
Alfie 'livin' it large' Sloan
3. Dear Alfred,
I was looking forward to graduation and the Follies when I got the news I was nominated for an unprecedented four awards. I was well psyched about being so popular among my underlings until I heard what categories they fall under. I've received nominations for the 'I'm going to impress my professor with completely long-winded and irrelevant comments', Mr Punctuality, the Statue of Liberty and Sloshed Sloanie awards. How do I refuse them without looking like a petty, humorless spoilsport?
Gormless Graduate
Dear Gormless,
Indeed, you are the true epitome of the MBA student: Pretentious, self-serving, pompous, and entirely lacking in reticence.
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