Quantifying Your Social Risk Level
Christine Kenney MBA'10
Issue date: 5/12/09 Section: Humor
To: MBA2010@googlegroups.com, MBA2009@googlegroups.com,
From: Stumbling Sloanie
Subj: Raffle For Sombit's Personal Effects
Professor Lo has asked us to create visible measures to better assess the social riskiness of MBA assets. Please take a moment to fill out our survey!
SurveyMonkey: MBA PURITY TEST
1. What strategies do you use to stay safe in the classroom?
• I stop at Starbucks before showing up late to Rigobon's class
• I have perfected the pensive "lost in thought/notes" forehead lean
• I sit next to people with the same first name
• I take prolonged bio breaks after signing in
• I sit in a Preggers Perch (towards the back in the peripheral sections) if I haven't read the case
• I set my ring tone to say "One quick question, professor-"
2. How do you stay safe in the field?
• I refuse to wear shiny objects, like my engagement ring
• I stay in Bag End (e51,e52, e53, e40, eastgate)
• I stay in the Shire (Porter sq - Park St)
• I bring my base jumping gear if I hear the 141 Charles roof deck will be open
• When someone tells me they're from Course 22, I duck & cover
3. Do you open attachments?
• Only Office 1997-2007 compliant
• I wait for the rest of my team to open, edit, and submit attachments… just to be sure that its safe
• I search my mail on "H1N1" and look for unsuspecting MIT student's roommates to forward to
4. Do you use encryption?
• Jargonese
• Quantitatish
5. How much of your calendar do you expose?
• Doodle requests hit my spam filter
• Free/"busy" only
• My public Google calendar gets more action than Littlefield
6. Help us understand your activities on Facebook:
• I am a member of a mob
• I update my geo-coordinate status on a semi-hourly basis
• I trespass on other people's property (lil green patches)
• I commingle data streams with strangers
• My party pics are bonus content that can't be unlocked until you level up
7. Have you ever propositioned a stranger via a three-sentence email?
• Did the subject line begin with "your article"?
• Did you have to guess his/her email address?
• Did you receive a response?
8. Which of the following applies to your financial practices?
• I speculate in the stock market with my student loans
• I deducted my MBA
• My decision tree shows the NPV of contracting food poisoning from a $4.50 foodcart lunch is massively positive
• I will work for equity
• I forward date all of my checks
• I forward all of my checks to my date
From: Stumbling Sloanie
Subj: Raffle For Sombit's Personal Effects
Professor Lo has asked us to create visible measures to better assess the social riskiness of MBA assets. Please take a moment to fill out our survey!
SurveyMonkey: MBA PURITY TEST
1. What strategies do you use to stay safe in the classroom?
• I stop at Starbucks before showing up late to Rigobon's class
• I have perfected the pensive "lost in thought/notes" forehead lean
• I sit next to people with the same first name
• I take prolonged bio breaks after signing in
• I sit in a Preggers Perch (towards the back in the peripheral sections) if I haven't read the case
• I set my ring tone to say "One quick question, professor-"
2. How do you stay safe in the field?
• I refuse to wear shiny objects, like my engagement ring
• I stay in Bag End (e51,e52, e53, e40, eastgate)
• I stay in the Shire (Porter sq - Park St)
• I bring my base jumping gear if I hear the 141 Charles roof deck will be open
• When someone tells me they're from Course 22, I duck & cover
3. Do you open attachments?
• Only Office 1997-2007 compliant
• I wait for the rest of my team to open, edit, and submit attachments… just to be sure that its safe
• I search my mail on "H1N1" and look for unsuspecting MIT student's roommates to forward to
4. Do you use encryption?
• Jargonese
• Quantitatish
5. How much of your calendar do you expose?
• Doodle requests hit my spam filter
• Free/"busy" only
• My public Google calendar gets more action than Littlefield
6. Help us understand your activities on Facebook:
• I am a member of a mob
• I update my geo-coordinate status on a semi-hourly basis
• I trespass on other people's property (lil green patches)
• I commingle data streams with strangers
• My party pics are bonus content that can't be unlocked until you level up
7. Have you ever propositioned a stranger via a three-sentence email?
• Did the subject line begin with "your article"?
• Did you have to guess his/her email address?
• Did you receive a response?
8. Which of the following applies to your financial practices?
• I speculate in the stock market with my student loans
• I deducted my MBA
• My decision tree shows the NPV of contracting food poisoning from a $4.50 foodcart lunch is massively positive
• I will work for equity
• I forward date all of my checks
• I forward all of my checks to my date
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